Overcoming In Prayer

And He was withdrawn from them 
about a stone’s cast and kneeled down and prayed

Saying, Father, if Thou be willing, 
remove this cup from me: 
nevertheless not my will, 
but Thine, be done.

And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him.

And being in agony He prayed more earnestly: 
and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood 
falling down to the ground.

(Luke 22:41-44)

A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, 
because her hour is come: 
but as soon as she is delivered of the child, 
she remembereth no more the anguish, 
for joy that a man is born into the world.

(John 15:21)

I started my prayer this morning with such despondency and helplessness in my mind. I’ve been praying for the same thing over and over again for years now. Once in awhile it would press upon me and weigh me down that I can’t even pray. I have been assured in time passed that the Lord will take care of it…that He will blessed me and not have to worry about it anymore. But still today, this morning, I still feel like I’m starting all over again. It seems worse since it’s been something I’ve been praying for and now still where is the deliverance of God? Why am I still dealing with this? I need a word. I need to be set free from this burden. But I couldn’t even think. My thoughts were a whirl in my mind and all I feel in my heart were sandbags upon sandbags of years of this weight. I would just rather die than go on.

Still I know I have to go on. There is no other choice. It seems to me it’s as easy to God to deliver me from this issue as to grant me my heart’s desire to just lay down and die. I prefer of course to live. But I feel like giving up.

I prefer not to go into details of what I’m dealing with. First, it’s something personal. Second, I feel like people will think it’s not such a big deal after all and will think I’m nuts for making such a big deal about it.

I don’t know if you’ve been there were your problems are greater in your mind than in other people’s lives and vice-versa. Other people’s problems seems less wretched than what your friends make it out.

But yet we all feel this way. We’ve been praying for something for years and nothing seems to happen. Other times it seems to get worse (as I felt this morning).

Sometimes all we need is a word. A revelation. A vision in our minds that what we’ve been praying for is heard of by God and that it’s going to come to pass eventually. Even that “eventually” is better than “never”. If you’re like me and you’re that person that just need to hear a word or is desperate to get an assurance from God that He’s working at our problems, then I hope this write up will help somehow.

I’ve been praying for years and been talking to God for years and I have seen results upon results of God answering my prayers. In another article I will try to write more about those miracles. But prayer is something I do on a daily basis. Sometimes my prayer last for just an hour, sometimes two, sometimes all day. And I have seen God work in my life through these prayers. Words of revelation, assurances, visions, I have experienced through my prayer.

As I was saying, my prayer this morning started out quiet, disturbed in my mind and despondent. But I kept on in my mind. Talking to the Lord in my heart. Actually, at first I mostly complained. My thoughts, went like this, “I have had it. My life is wretched. Just miserable.” I let my emotions dictate my thoughts. My heart just venting in misery before God.

After about seems like forever of this – probably just half an hour really I changed my tactic. I figured I’d read my Bible. I opened up my Bible and continued reading my chapter that matched the day in Proverbs. I had missed a couple of days so I had to make up two chapters up to the 22^nd. Then I read more of my daily chapters I read based on the Tyndale Daily Walk Bible that I have. I am actually at Numbers now…February 15^th in my Bible.

Eventually my prayer became audible…speaking out loud…just thanking God as just a matter of course of the things He’s done in the past…Never really feeling it but I know it’s better for me in my heart somehow. I also try to wait on the Holy Spirit. I try to “listen” in my spirit as I reach out to the Lord.

And then the troubles in my mind took over – overcame by my emotions of being overwhelmed…I sobbed my sorrow out to God…weeping my sorrow out to God…(No one is around so I can freely do this. In time past I would burry my face to my pillow and just pour my heart and soul in tears before God. This is good. This moves the heart of God.)

I continue to love Him even though the mind is still in wretchedness…remembering His goodness again in the past how prayers were answered…even though the mind still find it hard to believe current situation has a way out…

An hour or so has passed and still it seems like it’s a dead end…but still I don’t give up…I haven’t overcome yet…I haven’t gotten the release in my mind…I don’t give up…

By this time God started to deal with me in my spirit to believe He is for me…by this time I am feeling in my spirit to trust Him…

Still, I still somehow feel defeated…that there is no way out…it’s a dead end…I feel tired and hopeless…

I love God again as a matter of course…I sing a song because I feel like singing…then I love Him again…I remember His goodness again in my life and in the Bible…I still feel overwhelmed in my heart and in my soul…I feel like hope is gone…life is hateful…then I cried it out…I cry and weep it out to God…I tell Him exactly how I feel…I cry, “I hate my life! I hate my life!...Nothing changes…nothing ever will….wahhhhh…..hate it…hate it…hate it…”

Still nothing…So I read a Psalm out loud…I read my Bible…and then I love God again…thanking Him in my heart. Just saying, “I love you Jesus. I praise you. I love you. You are great. You are Holy. You are faithful.” Again and again.

By this time I started to feel God is around me, waiting. Am I going to give up…am I going to give in to the spirit of defeat? I don’t. I continue. I love God again. I remember a time in the past when He delivered me. And talked to Him about it. I told Him how I know He can do the same thing again…even though I feel like there’s nothing coming through…

Two hours will probably have passed by at this time and still I feel like there are still closed doors…still like life is hateful…

I love Him still anyway. Even if I don’t feel like it. I love Him still, anyway. I sing a song again, loving Him. (I sometimes would read a devotional. I sing a hymn or listen to a hymn.) And I stay closeted. Uninterrupted.

By this time I’m feeling a little less overwhelmed even if my mind still have not been “renewed”. My spirit feels a little less overwhelmed especially when I’ve been loving Him and then crying out to Him.

Prayer will sometimes feel like giving birth…going through labor…trying to push but the child won’t come out…You have to keep pushing and keep trying until the child does come out or else if you give up that child is going to die…Same way with prayer, do not leave your room or your closet door until you feel a release in your mind…a surge of faith that God will take care of it…of everything…

Wait…lots of waiting. Just because you don’t feel like you’ve been delivered doesn’t mean you’re not going to…remember the giving birth…remember the child…

At this point I asked the Lord to release my mind from oppression…to help me to think what I should think or see what I should see…Of course I’ve been trying to pray this all along but not really meaning it. By this time  though I’m believing Him to do it. It is becoming possible.

As I pray and cry to Him…and when I am weeping, I ask Him to comfort me…I literally ask Him and beseech Him to comfort me…and He does…I feel a release in my soul…I feel a little bit lighter…

Depending on your situation and your state of mind…two hours – almost three probably…God will come around…when you finally are exhausted and almost resigned and given up…God will come around…your voice will be heard…it’s as if He’s heard you finally...

But still only by opening up your life to Him and blessing Him and loving Him will it happen. Never when your mouth is negative. As long as you keep in that negative talk you will keep defeated.

If He’s dealing with you in your spirit acknowledge that…If He says, “I’m with you…” Then say, “Lord, thank you for being with me…thank you that I’m not alone…” And if you still feel discouraged say it, “But I still need your help…your strength…”

Also if you’re having a hard time breaking through and He’s dealing with you regarding a sin, by all means, deal with it. If you can’t, ask Him in your soul to help you and He will. Whatever He deals you with, acknowledge it or you won’t able to move on, especially when it comes to sin. All you need to do is say, “I’m sorry Lord Jesus. Please forgive me. I will try not to do it again. Please help me not to do it again.” And believe that He will and move on. Don’t dwell on the misery of your sin. If you’ve already acknowledged it He doesn’t want you dwelling on it. Move on.

(Now, if you can’t seem to move on because of a sin or a past issue…I think you will need to stay here until He releases you. You might even feel completely hopeless about it. If you are, it’s time to fast. Put aside all other cares in your life. If you need to spend a day with the Lord and have other cares ask the Lord to show you how to deal with those cares so you can spend that fast and day with Him. He should be able to show you.)

Somewhere in between two hours and the third hour He will come. If you open your mouth in love of Him and adoration of Him and lifting Him and proclaiming His goodness in your life, in this life, and in the Bible of what He’s done, He’s going to come to you. And all it takes is one thought…and you will be released….from whatever negative spirit that you have…from whatever oppression you’re feeling you will be released and delivered.

At some time in my third hour my mind was opened. I saw a vision in my mind of what I really wanted and really has desired for all these years. The thing that I’ve been desiring for became forefront in my mind and with a surge of faith from the Holy Spirit I pray it. A surge of trust also comes into my heart and I know it’s possible. God has shown it to me. This is what I have been waiting for. This is the end of my pushing. I see again what I’m working and living for. I have been shown this before but I needed to see it again in this light. All my problems seems unimportant and the only thing that mattered is this “vision” in my mind.

And to the rest who still do not receive the deliverance by second or third hour, keep waiting. It might be you are in need of the Holy Ghost power. It might take you probably another day. But if you don’t give up and keep up at it, by the second day or third you should feel a release and deliverance…you should feel a thought come into your heart, in your spirit or in your mind to release you from whatever hopelessness and doubts that have been oppressing you.

Of course if you need to cook and clean and deal with your everyday life then go ahead and do it. But keep your burden in your heart and in your mind. Don’t let go of it. Keep in “labor” spiritually. Then get back to it when you have time alone again with the Lord. Resume where you were. Don’t start all over again. Know that God knows you’re “laboring” – keeping a tryst with Him. He knows were you left off in your spirit and in your mind. So don’t worry if you feel like you’re starting all over again. Add the next hour or more to your tab and keep pushing. I heard of people in labor for 36 hours and their reward was more than well worth it. So will yours be.

Begin again the next day to love Him and to bless His name and wait for Him to deliver you until He delivers you. Do not give up. The child is worth it. And when the child is born you will rejoice and you will be glad. There is nothing like it in the world when you break through in the spirit and God begins to manifest His hand upon you.

When you feel deliverance in your heart or in your mind, REJOICE! And be exceeding glad in your heart and in your soul. If need be, jump up and down and wave your hand in the air before God. Dance before God. Make a joyful noise unto Him. Love Him. Thank Him. Make a big deal. Thank Him for delivering you. Thank Him for the thought that delivered you. Thank Him for the vision that He has shown. However He came to you to set your mind free specifically thank Him for it and rejoice. Rejoice and praise Him out loud because then your deliverance will turn into victory. Your heart will become joyful. Your heart will turn into gladness and you will cast away all spirit of gloom surrounding you and you will feel very victorious indeed.

But if your mind still feel defeated, then you need to continue to love Him. You need to be still again and wait yet some more by His word…reading His word…and talking to Him what bothers you.

But as soon as you feel the release, rejoice! REJOICE! Rejoice!