The Voice of The Lord

I shudder at the thought of how close Evan's life was on disappearing from this world; from my world one Friday morning.

I had texted him, forgetting completely that he's still on the road. He went to read it, looking down and looking up on the road, and looking down again. As he went to answer me the Lord clearly spoke to him and said, "Don't answer it." He closed his phone and looked up and there as the road came into a bend, fifty feet ahead of him is a road block diverting the traffic into the right lane. He quickly changed into the right lane (no one else being there) and avoided a fatal collision. Had not the Lord spoken to him and had he not listened to the voice of the Lord, I don't know where I would be today or or if I would still be writing here this morning.

Interestingly enough about twenty minutes before texting him, I felt a desire to pray for him out loud. (There must be something about praying out loud because I felt just saying the prayer to myself but as if it wasn't enough I felt a nudge in my heart to say it out loud. (Take note prayer warriors, the fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. I'm not sure if you can pray too urgently without speaking it out loud, summoning the power within you to take over and the spirits around you to flee...)) You see this is very peculiar because every morning before my husband leaves for work we stand together and pray for each other's safety; his on mine and mine on his. And then I go through the mantra of telling him, "Eyes on the road, do not speed, pay attention...etc." And sometimes he even teases me by saying it to himself out loud, letting me know he's aware of what he's supposed to do before driving away. So to pray for him again later for his safety I found quite unusual.

God is truly gracious to me. I could kick myself though for being the cause of almost killing him. How many times I would yell at him if I catch him reading a text and trying to answer it when we're on the road. He said that experience taught him a lesson, to never respond to a text again. He said a split second of looking down and running 65 miles per hour can bring you a hundred feet ahead without you even realizing it. But the Lord is so gracious to me and merciful to me. Thank the Lord He is real and watches over us day and night.

Balaam and His Promotion

And God said unto Balaam, “Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people; for they are blessed.

And Balaam rose up in the morning and said unto the princes of Balak, “Get you intoyour land: for the LORD refuseth to give me leave to go with you.” (Numbers 22:11-12)

I often wondered what was wrong with Balaam. He seemed to have done everything right. I mean, the Lord told him don’t go and he didn’t. The Lord told him to go and he did. When the angel came to try to stop him with his donkey he said to the angel, “I will go back if you want me to.” And yet the angel said, “Go.” Can anyone blame Balaam? Why was he killed like the rest of the people later?

I just saw the clue in these two verses. From the very beginning Balaam’s heart wasn’t really with God’s. You don’t really see that if you look at the surface. But you see it in his actions. Later on you see how he “counseled” Balak, the prince of the Midianites how to make the Israelites fall out of favor with God to a point that thousands of them die from a plague. We don’t read him instructing Balak but we read what Moses said about it, confirming that Balaam had counseled the Midianites to snare the children of Israel to commit whoredom against God by offering to their idols.

But here, these two verses, we see the heart of Balaam. Instead of telling Balak’s messenger exactly what God had told him, “You shall not curse these people for they are blessed”, he tells them that God refuses to give him leave to go with them. What! Sure, the Lord told him not to go, but that’s not the point. He didn’t tell the messengers that it’s pointless for him to even go. I mean there is no argument about it. Don’t even bother with it. God does not want these people cursed and so why even think that he should go, now or later?

This is where we find the problem with Balaam. He wanted to go. He wanted the promotion Balak can give him, even though he tells Balak again and again he doesn’t care. He does care. If he didn’t care at all he would’ve said so with the messengers from the very beginning…He  would’ve said, “You’re wasting my time, God does not want these people cursed and that’s what Balak want and he’s not going to get it, promotions or not.” Period. No arguments about it. But he goes and checks with God when the second messengers came. See I think if he had told the first messengers the truth that God does not want these people cursed then Balak would know there’s no point. But you don’t see Balaam telling this at all or at any time. He hides it from Balak. (Balak only came to know this because God would took possession of Balaam as he’s about to curse and turned the cursing into blessing.)

And then we see later on when Balak reproaches him for not coming at the very first he says to Balak, “Well, don’t I have power too to say what I want to say…” Meaning isn’t this why you ask for me? You might have the power to promote me but I have the power to bless or to curse, so you need me. And so, he thinks. He still thinks he’s going to curse the children of God even though the Lord plainly said, “No, don’t curse them.”

Well, he got what was coming to him. His true heart was revealed. He wanted the promotions deep down inside to a point that he thought he can go against God and still get it.

It is amazing how many of us can be snared like this. Like a big promotion at the company or some “good” opportunity may bring us blessing despite of it becoming a snare in our lives, going against the will of God in our lives, and we know this too and yet we go and take it even though in our hearts this is going to get us away, farther away from God or that we will become too busy for the work of God. Is it worth it? When are we going to learn?

Should We Fast?

Zechariah 7

King James Version (KJV)

7 And it came to pass in the fourth year of king Darius, that the word of the Lord came unto Zechariah in the fourth day of the ninth month, even in Chisleu;

2 When they had sent unto the house of God Sherezer and Regemmelech, and their men, to pray before the Lord,

3 And to speak unto the priests which were in the house of the Lord of hosts, and to the prophets, saying, Should I weep in the fifth month, separating myself, as I have done these so many years?

4 Then came the word of the Lord of hosts unto me, saying,

5 Speak unto all the people of the land, and to the priests, saying, When ye fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh month, even those seventy years, did ye at all fast unto me, even to me?

6 And when ye did eat, and when ye did drink, did not ye eat for yourselves, and drink for yourselves?

7 Should ye not hear the words which the Lord hath cried by the former prophets, when Jerusalem was inhabited and in prosperity, and the cities thereof round about her, when men inhabited the south and the plain?

I find this section of the Bible very interesting. What does He mean they fasted for themselves? We could fast for ourselves?

Obviously. Otherwise the Lord won’t be rebuking these people about it.

So we could fast for our own personal reasons.

The people came to Zechariah to ask counsel of him whether they should go back to fasting and weeping like they used to do. And the Lord seemed angry with them because the truth was their fasting and weeping did nothing good, it did not give glory to God. They were fasting and weeping before Him and yet they weren’t because there were no changes in their actions and in their lifestyles. In the following verses we see what the Lord wanted of them:

8 And the word of the Lord came unto Zechariah, saying,

9 Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother:

10 And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.

11 But they refused to hearken, and pulled away the shoulder, and stopped their ears, that they should not hear.

12 Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law, and the words which the Lord of hosts hath sent in his spirit by the former prophets: therefore came a great wrath from the Lord of hosts.

It was obvious their fasting and weeping weren’t for the Lord but for themselves. It is strange to be spending all that time and energy and not end up changed! I feel if we really come to the Lord with all of our hearts and soul then He will deal with us and we should know what we’re supposed to do next. What is our weeping and fasting going to do us if we don’t listen to the voice of the Lord? Isn’t our taking of time to weep and fast is to know the will of God? And if we want to know the will of God isn’t our objective is to please God; therefore obey Him?

But I believe people want the blessings of God without being responsible to doing what is right. The children of Israel has been taught to fast and weep before God and so they do but they weren’t taught enough to obey Him.

Or we could weep and fast before God just to satisfy our own fleshly glorying of ourselves – so that we can say, “Well, I fasted and prayed and wept before God – therefore I am special – therefore God will honor and respect and bless me.” It’s as if God now has this responsibility to bless them because they did what was supposed to be pleasing before Him.

But obviously God was not at all pleased.

Change of heart. Repentance. That is what is going to please God.

Doing good – executing true judgment, showing mercy and compassion to our brothers and sisters, not imagining evil in our hearts against them, or the widows or the fatherless or the poor. The Lord said, “Let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.” How many times we Christians do that? And yet we fast and pray and weep before God.

We can stop fasting and praying now because unless we do what God says to do all of our energy is a waste! It is all in our head! There is no blessings coming your way!

If we continue to talk about our brother or our sister in the Lord and imagine evil in our hearts against them and neglect the poor people in our church, especially the widows and the fatherless and not show kindness to them, then we can forget about our “piousness” and “sacrifices” because they are all a waste of time and energy. God is not pleased with us.

Oh, Lord God, let us hear you and incline our hearts to your word. Let us not just be a hearer of your word but also a doer. I pray, incline our hearts to your ways today and let us find ourselves doing good to your people, to one another, as you said to your apostles, “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you.” Let us fast to truly spend time to hear your word and follow it and be changed. Let us do it Father and glorify your name through your precious Son, Jesus Christ. Today I pray. Amen.

A Study on King Solomon - Guard Against Snares

1 Kings 2:1, 3-4

Now the days of David draw night that he should die and he charged Solomon his son saying,

"Keep the charge of the LORD thy God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, and His commandments.

That the LORD may continue His word which He spake concerning me saying If thy children take heed to their way to walk before me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul there shall not fail thee (said he) a man on the throne of Israel.

The life of King Solomon is a great example for all of us to be vigilant about our walk with God. If the "wisest" man fell, there is no way we can be exempted. But because of it we should ever more strive to be better. And we can, through the help of Jesus Christ who gave Himself for us and is ever sitting at the throne of God making intercession on our behalf.

Perhaps the easiest way to keep in line with God is to study what King David told Solomon to do in 1 Kings 2:4. God told David, "If thy children take heed to their way....to walk before me in truth....with all their heart and with all their soul...."

First, we must take heed to our ways.

Many of us know our weaknesses. Some of us can even pin point to that weakness. We know exactly what will cause God's Spirit to be quenched and turn "silent" from our lives. Whether it's the internet, movie-TV watching, talking on the phone too much especially about people, being angry too easily, reading books that's not convenient, etc. They might not be drugs, alcohol, or anything blatant that we can be easily ashamed of. But we know what they are. The Bible states, "Take heed."

So guard against whatever you know is going to cause you to fall. Remember our adversary the Devil he walks about seeking whom he may devour. If king Solomon fell, you may guarantee yourself you will. Devil walking around even make things complicated. So, take heed. Take note of your actions and the thoughts of your heart. The enemy of our soul is very subtle. He's not looking for blatant sinners.

Second thing, walk before Him in truth.

We should always be open and honest in our relationship with the Lord. King David was. When he fell with Bathsheba and when he counted the people in Israel he told the Lord, "I have sinned before you. Take my sins away."

Third and last, the Lord wants us to walk before Him with all our hearts and with all our souls.

I think the thing to be vigilant about is the way our hearts are. If we feel it going and wandering away from the Lord it's time to bring it back in line with him. I think if we do this we'd be all right. Having our everyday communion with Him is key. The Lord Jesus said unless we abide in Him and His words abide in us, we on our own can do nothing. The key to being perfect and upright before the Lord is the constant abiding with Him - reading His word daily, everyday, the same place, the same time. Make it a habit. And then talking to Him...opening our hearts to Him for any sins and desires and letting our hearts align back to His word...back to the Holy Spirit.

Snares in our times are everywhere. We don't need the Devil to come up with it in our minds. In a second you can have the world in your home, whether through TV or internet or your phone. We don't need to search for it in our neighborhood. A press of a button and we're snared. But with the help of the Lord and the study of God's word we should be able to overcome.

A Study on Saul the First King of Israel

And the Spirit of the LORD will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them and shalt be turned into another man.

And it was so, that when he had turned his back to go from Samuel, God gave him another heart: and all those signs came to pass that day.

And when he came thither to the hill, behold, a company of prophets met him; and the Spirit of God came upon him; and prophesied among them.

(1 Samuel 10:6, 9-10)

But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because  thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee.

(1Samuel 13:13-14)

And Saul built an altar unto the LORD: the same was the first altar that he built unto the LORD.

(1 Samuel 14:35)

I think Saul's story is a very sad story. Here is a guy who started out "small" in his own eyes and God elevated him to be king over all Israel out of the blue while he was just doing something so menial, like looking for his father's horses; and a couple of years later, God rejects him and looks for another man to be king in his place. Why? What went wrong?

In the very beginning after his first anointing by prophet Samuel, Saul got filled with the spirit of God. He ended up with a new heart. The Bible states he became a new man.

I can't help but notice that he builded his "altar" unto the LORD after - AFTER the second victory God has given him. (And really God gave that victory to his son Jonathan who believed God, not to him.) It is interesting that he's just building this altar now, a few years after he's already a king. (See 1 Samuel 14:35).

Maybe that is what is wrong. He did not have an altar to begin with. He did not have a relationship with God to begin with. So when it came to making wise decisions and obeying God, he failed. First he decided to offer the sacrifice instead of waiting for Samuel. Second, he makes a decree, after the people had fought a great battle that day, to curse any man that would eat. Then third when he finds out Jonathan ate, he was willing to kill his own son. You see him whine and pity himself because the people decided to eat, "Roll a great stone unto me this day." Talk about a man without morals and principles. A weak man. And yet when he started out he was full of faith and vigor. Full of confidence and strength.

I look at David who became king after him and his relationship with God and compare this to Saul. David started out small too. Doing his father's business in the farm; tending sheep. And we find out that he worshipped God while he was there. He had his own harp and made songs. He fought his own battles with the lion and the bear and knew, and said later on, that it was God that saved him. And even before he was anointed to be king he already had faith and love for God. That's the difference. That's what will make the difference. David had a relationship with God, Saul didn't. Saul only needed God when he's in trouble. Offers offering to God when he's in the midst of the battle. Saul remembers God only when he's in trouble, but otherwise he just existed. Not so with David. David loved God and worshipped and praised God even before he was anointed. The spirit of God had to come to Saul after he was anointed. You would think that Saul would be so in loved with God after that. I would think he would have builded an altar right there and then. David on the other hand already had his own altar even as a little boy. He loved God on his own without anybody telling him to love God. David loved God without the oil being poured on him.

Lesson learned:
Having the Holy Ghost doesn't make us perfect. I believe it gives us the power to belong to God and to connect with Him. But until we make our own altar where we can meet God on a daily basis, like Saul, we will only know "about" God and will never know Him personally, like King David did.

Need Faith?

This is so crucial for every Christians: to read the Bible. You want faith? Read the Bible.

How true. Many of us want miracles in our lives but we don't want to pay the price it takes to have them. We want someone to lay their hands on us and give us faith and then it happens like magic. Like a fairytale. Like a fantasy. We don't want to make the effort.

Nothing great can ever come through short cuts. If you want a real relationship with God, read His Word. Read the Bible. From the beginning to the end. Everyday meditate on it. Front and back. Learn what God has to say. Learn who God is. Read the Bible. There is no other way.

Having A Hard Time Praying?

Having a hard time praying and staying focused?

Well, that was me this morning. I could not for the life of me stay still and focus on my prayer.

So, I asked the Lord to help me. I cried out loud, "Lord God, please help me to pray! I am having a hard time praying and staying focused!"

I believed that He heard me and that He was going to help me.

And He did.

I ended up finding myself reading a couple of Isaiah chapters out loud. (There is something about reading a chapter out loud over reading it silently.) It somehow helped me get my soul going into a prayer mode.

I read Isaiah 58 and 14. I am trying to memorize Isaiah 58 because it talked about the way to fast and how if you do the way the Lord wants us to fast there is healing that will come. I love the rewards that come with doing a right fast. And I have to say I have benefited very much in doing this. I have seen God's healing upon my soul and upon my life. When you fast for the sake of other people and carry such a burden for their souls, that is the right fast. When you fast just to gain something for yourself and to get even, well, you might as well save your time and energy because you're not going to go far. That is exactly what God was mad about on Isaiah 58. The children of Israel was doing the wrong fast.

Fasting the right fast of course, and having that burden for other people can only come from the Lord. So if you need help, just ask the Lord to give you that burden. I am in fact in need of that burden again. I need to fast for someone but these days, after working for over five years, it's not coming as easy as it used to be. It's not even in my mind all the time as it should be. But I know I have to do it. So, I am asking the Lord to give me the burden to fast for that person. And yes, I am motivated as well for the rewards that will come. I want the Lord to bless me. I want the Lord to bless my soul even more - of His grace and His healing touch. We can never have enough of it.

Anyway, I read my chapters out loud, including my Bible Reading for the day. In the midst of it, I just found myself singing worship songs...so I did. I didn't fight it. I sang and sang, probably five or maybe even eight songs...

Then I love the Lord. I just felt like thanking the Lord and loving Him. And you know what, since I was feeling this way I didn't force myself to finish my Bible reading. I figured I'd finish it after I'm done talking to the Lord. So I talked to the Lord some more. I loved Him. I praised Him. Made my request. Sang couple more songs. Made more petitions. Loved Him. Thanked Him for the wonderful things He has promised to do for me. Then I was done.

I finished my Bible reading out loud. Memorized couple of those verses in Isaiah 58 and closed the book.

I love the Lord because He's so good! He has helped me pray today.

I also find that having a prayer goal helps. Every day of the week I have a schedule of who to pray for. For Monday I pray for my family. Tuesday, my relatives. Wednesday, for my friends and co-workers. Thursday, home missions. Friday, America. Saturday, the world. Sunday, missionaries. This way I don't get overwhelmed when I am praying. Also, I can focus on the need that is at hand. If there are needs of other people that I am aware of I pray for them. I can also focus on loving the Lord and thanking Him for all He's done for me and what He's going to do in the future. It is important that your prayer is not just about praying for other people and problems but that you make time in focusing on the goodness of God. Often I find myself satisfied to just focus on God's goodness than praying for my problems or other people's problems. This delights God more than asking and asking. Because we all know He knows everything. He knows our problems more than we do. But by focusing on His goodness and what He has done for us first (and not just for us but what He's done in general, for other people and in the Bible) our problems will become less insurmountable. They become less serious. And we can believe God better and our prayer time will be less overwhelming.

I also have a pattern I follow in my mind when I am praying. I call it my "two-twos prayer". This was a prayer I came up with during my commute in the morning to work. It's so easy and quick and yet when I am done I feel like I have accomplished what I need to do in my prayer.

This is how it goes: 2 things to thank Him for. (Sometimes 2 Psalm chapters). 2 songs. 2 things I like about Him. 2 things I am thankful for that He's done for me in the past. 2 people I need to pray for. 2 things I want to pray for in my life. 2 things I believe He's going to do for me in the future.

First I thank Him for waking me up for the day and for His protection upon me and my husband during the night. I also thank Him for a wonderful day, especially when the sun is shining. Lol.

Then I sing a couple of songs, from the heart. I focus on what I am singing. And it usually is a song that is a one on one. A worship song. Not the happy go lucky, jolly sing along they do in some churches. But a worship song. A song of adoration and thanksgiving.

Then I focus on the Lord and His attributes and tell Him why He means so much to me. I find myself always thanking Him for His presence and how He is able to be here for me all the time. Hence, I thank Him for His faithfulness. So I look for two things about God that I am thankful about and thank Him for it. Of course when my heart feels more worship of Him then I do that. I don't just stick to two things. But this helps me to start off. Just think of two things and then that gets me rolling.

After the couple of things I like about the Lord, I then thank Him for two things He has done for me in the past. That usually is no problem. I end up thanking Him for more than two things of course. I thank Him for my mind that is better today. I thank Him for a better marriage. I thank Him for delivering me from my job and bringing me back home to spend more time with Him. On and on. And when I can't think of anymore then I move on to praying for people.

I think of a couple of people that come into my mind that need prayer. Usually I find more than two people. Some times the Lord shows faces in my mind who to pray for, so I pray for them.

After this I pray for a couple of my personal requests. I tell the Lord what I'm desiring in my life and asks Him to grant them to me according to His will.

Then I thank Him for a couple of things I know He's going to do for me in the future. Usually the things I've been praying for and things I have heard Him tell me He's going to do. I thank Him for those believing that He's going to fulfill them.

I love and praise Him and thank Him for all He's done for me and I finish my prayer.

I finish up on my Bible reading if need be. I always start my prayer with a Bible reading. It helps get my mind on the Lord. (This morning I needed help to stay focused and it came upon me to read the scriptures out loud and that helped a lot. By the time I was done I was ready to talk to the Lord, sing and praise Him.)

I then say the Benediction that Moses pronounced to the children of Israel to myself:

May the Lord God bless thee and keep thee
May the Lord God shine His face upon thee and be gracious unto thee
May the Lord God lift His countenance upon thee and grant thee peace

Then I sing my last song:

Isn't He wonderful
wonderful wonderful
Isn't Jesus my Lord, wonderful
Eyes have seen, ears have heard
What's recorded in God's word
Isn't Jesus my Lord wonderful

It is truly wonderful what the Lord has done
It is truly wonderful
(Repeat 2x)
It is truly wonderful what the Lord has done
Glory to His Name!

To Be Accounted Worthy

Heaven and earth shall pass away but my words shall not pass away.

And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkeness and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.

For as snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.

Watch ye therefore and pray always that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass and to stand before the Son of Man.

Words of Jesus Christ (Luke 21:33-36)

Overcoming In Prayer

And He was withdrawn from them 
about a stone’s cast and kneeled down and prayed

Saying, Father, if Thou be willing, 
remove this cup from me: 
nevertheless not my will, 
but Thine, be done.

And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him.

And being in agony He prayed more earnestly: 
and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood 
falling down to the ground.

(Luke 22:41-44)

A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, 
because her hour is come: 
but as soon as she is delivered of the child, 
she remembereth no more the anguish, 
for joy that a man is born into the world.

(John 15:21)

I started my prayer this morning with such despondency and helplessness in my mind. I’ve been praying for the same thing over and over again for years now. Once in awhile it would press upon me and weigh me down that I can’t even pray. I have been assured in time passed that the Lord will take care of it…that He will blessed me and not have to worry about it anymore. But still today, this morning, I still feel like I’m starting all over again. It seems worse since it’s been something I’ve been praying for and now still where is the deliverance of God? Why am I still dealing with this? I need a word. I need to be set free from this burden. But I couldn’t even think. My thoughts were a whirl in my mind and all I feel in my heart were sandbags upon sandbags of years of this weight. I would just rather die than go on.

Still I know I have to go on. There is no other choice. It seems to me it’s as easy to God to deliver me from this issue as to grant me my heart’s desire to just lay down and die. I prefer of course to live. But I feel like giving up.

I prefer not to go into details of what I’m dealing with. First, it’s something personal. Second, I feel like people will think it’s not such a big deal after all and will think I’m nuts for making such a big deal about it.

I don’t know if you’ve been there were your problems are greater in your mind than in other people’s lives and vice-versa. Other people’s problems seems less wretched than what your friends make it out.

But yet we all feel this way. We’ve been praying for something for years and nothing seems to happen. Other times it seems to get worse (as I felt this morning).

Sometimes all we need is a word. A revelation. A vision in our minds that what we’ve been praying for is heard of by God and that it’s going to come to pass eventually. Even that “eventually” is better than “never”. If you’re like me and you’re that person that just need to hear a word or is desperate to get an assurance from God that He’s working at our problems, then I hope this write up will help somehow.

I’ve been praying for years and been talking to God for years and I have seen results upon results of God answering my prayers. In another article I will try to write more about those miracles. But prayer is something I do on a daily basis. Sometimes my prayer last for just an hour, sometimes two, sometimes all day. And I have seen God work in my life through these prayers. Words of revelation, assurances, visions, I have experienced through my prayer.

As I was saying, my prayer this morning started out quiet, disturbed in my mind and despondent. But I kept on in my mind. Talking to the Lord in my heart. Actually, at first I mostly complained. My thoughts, went like this, “I have had it. My life is wretched. Just miserable.” I let my emotions dictate my thoughts. My heart just venting in misery before God.

After about seems like forever of this – probably just half an hour really I changed my tactic. I figured I’d read my Bible. I opened up my Bible and continued reading my chapter that matched the day in Proverbs. I had missed a couple of days so I had to make up two chapters up to the 22^nd. Then I read more of my daily chapters I read based on the Tyndale Daily Walk Bible that I have. I am actually at Numbers now…February 15^th in my Bible.

Eventually my prayer became audible…speaking out loud…just thanking God as just a matter of course of the things He’s done in the past…Never really feeling it but I know it’s better for me in my heart somehow. I also try to wait on the Holy Spirit. I try to “listen” in my spirit as I reach out to the Lord.

And then the troubles in my mind took over – overcame by my emotions of being overwhelmed…I sobbed my sorrow out to God…weeping my sorrow out to God…(No one is around so I can freely do this. In time past I would burry my face to my pillow and just pour my heart and soul in tears before God. This is good. This moves the heart of God.)

I continue to love Him even though the mind is still in wretchedness…remembering His goodness again in the past how prayers were answered…even though the mind still find it hard to believe current situation has a way out…

An hour or so has passed and still it seems like it’s a dead end…but still I don’t give up…I haven’t overcome yet…I haven’t gotten the release in my mind…I don’t give up…

By this time God started to deal with me in my spirit to believe He is for me…by this time I am feeling in my spirit to trust Him…

Still, I still somehow feel defeated…that there is no way out…it’s a dead end…I feel tired and hopeless…

I love God again as a matter of course…I sing a song because I feel like singing…then I love Him again…I remember His goodness again in my life and in the Bible…I still feel overwhelmed in my heart and in my soul…I feel like hope is gone…life is hateful…then I cried it out…I cry and weep it out to God…I tell Him exactly how I feel…I cry, “I hate my life! I hate my life!...Nothing changes…nothing ever will….wahhhhh…..hate it…hate it…hate it…”

Still nothing…So I read a Psalm out loud…I read my Bible…and then I love God again…thanking Him in my heart. Just saying, “I love you Jesus. I praise you. I love you. You are great. You are Holy. You are faithful.” Again and again.

By this time I started to feel God is around me, waiting. Am I going to give up…am I going to give in to the spirit of defeat? I don’t. I continue. I love God again. I remember a time in the past when He delivered me. And talked to Him about it. I told Him how I know He can do the same thing again…even though I feel like there’s nothing coming through…

Two hours will probably have passed by at this time and still I feel like there are still closed doors…still like life is hateful…

I love Him still anyway. Even if I don’t feel like it. I love Him still, anyway. I sing a song again, loving Him. (I sometimes would read a devotional. I sing a hymn or listen to a hymn.) And I stay closeted. Uninterrupted.

By this time I’m feeling a little less overwhelmed even if my mind still have not been “renewed”. My spirit feels a little less overwhelmed especially when I’ve been loving Him and then crying out to Him.

Prayer will sometimes feel like giving birth…going through labor…trying to push but the child won’t come out…You have to keep pushing and keep trying until the child does come out or else if you give up that child is going to die…Same way with prayer, do not leave your room or your closet door until you feel a release in your mind…a surge of faith that God will take care of it…of everything…

Wait…lots of waiting. Just because you don’t feel like you’ve been delivered doesn’t mean you’re not going to…remember the giving birth…remember the child…

At this point I asked the Lord to release my mind from oppression…to help me to think what I should think or see what I should see…Of course I’ve been trying to pray this all along but not really meaning it. By this time  though I’m believing Him to do it. It is becoming possible.

As I pray and cry to Him…and when I am weeping, I ask Him to comfort me…I literally ask Him and beseech Him to comfort me…and He does…I feel a release in my soul…I feel a little bit lighter…

Depending on your situation and your state of mind…two hours – almost three probably…God will come around…when you finally are exhausted and almost resigned and given up…God will come around…your voice will be heard…it’s as if He’s heard you finally...

But still only by opening up your life to Him and blessing Him and loving Him will it happen. Never when your mouth is negative. As long as you keep in that negative talk you will keep defeated.

If He’s dealing with you in your spirit acknowledge that…If He says, “I’m with you…” Then say, “Lord, thank you for being with me…thank you that I’m not alone…” And if you still feel discouraged say it, “But I still need your help…your strength…”

Also if you’re having a hard time breaking through and He’s dealing with you regarding a sin, by all means, deal with it. If you can’t, ask Him in your soul to help you and He will. Whatever He deals you with, acknowledge it or you won’t able to move on, especially when it comes to sin. All you need to do is say, “I’m sorry Lord Jesus. Please forgive me. I will try not to do it again. Please help me not to do it again.” And believe that He will and move on. Don’t dwell on the misery of your sin. If you’ve already acknowledged it He doesn’t want you dwelling on it. Move on.

(Now, if you can’t seem to move on because of a sin or a past issue…I think you will need to stay here until He releases you. You might even feel completely hopeless about it. If you are, it’s time to fast. Put aside all other cares in your life. If you need to spend a day with the Lord and have other cares ask the Lord to show you how to deal with those cares so you can spend that fast and day with Him. He should be able to show you.)

Somewhere in between two hours and the third hour He will come. If you open your mouth in love of Him and adoration of Him and lifting Him and proclaiming His goodness in your life, in this life, and in the Bible of what He’s done, He’s going to come to you. And all it takes is one thought…and you will be released….from whatever negative spirit that you have…from whatever oppression you’re feeling you will be released and delivered.

At some time in my third hour my mind was opened. I saw a vision in my mind of what I really wanted and really has desired for all these years. The thing that I’ve been desiring for became forefront in my mind and with a surge of faith from the Holy Spirit I pray it. A surge of trust also comes into my heart and I know it’s possible. God has shown it to me. This is what I have been waiting for. This is the end of my pushing. I see again what I’m working and living for. I have been shown this before but I needed to see it again in this light. All my problems seems unimportant and the only thing that mattered is this “vision” in my mind.

And to the rest who still do not receive the deliverance by second or third hour, keep waiting. It might be you are in need of the Holy Ghost power. It might take you probably another day. But if you don’t give up and keep up at it, by the second day or third you should feel a release and deliverance…you should feel a thought come into your heart, in your spirit or in your mind to release you from whatever hopelessness and doubts that have been oppressing you.

Of course if you need to cook and clean and deal with your everyday life then go ahead and do it. But keep your burden in your heart and in your mind. Don’t let go of it. Keep in “labor” spiritually. Then get back to it when you have time alone again with the Lord. Resume where you were. Don’t start all over again. Know that God knows you’re “laboring” – keeping a tryst with Him. He knows were you left off in your spirit and in your mind. So don’t worry if you feel like you’re starting all over again. Add the next hour or more to your tab and keep pushing. I heard of people in labor for 36 hours and their reward was more than well worth it. So will yours be.

Begin again the next day to love Him and to bless His name and wait for Him to deliver you until He delivers you. Do not give up. The child is worth it. And when the child is born you will rejoice and you will be glad. There is nothing like it in the world when you break through in the spirit and God begins to manifest His hand upon you.

When you feel deliverance in your heart or in your mind, REJOICE! And be exceeding glad in your heart and in your soul. If need be, jump up and down and wave your hand in the air before God. Dance before God. Make a joyful noise unto Him. Love Him. Thank Him. Make a big deal. Thank Him for delivering you. Thank Him for the thought that delivered you. Thank Him for the vision that He has shown. However He came to you to set your mind free specifically thank Him for it and rejoice. Rejoice and praise Him out loud because then your deliverance will turn into victory. Your heart will become joyful. Your heart will turn into gladness and you will cast away all spirit of gloom surrounding you and you will feel very victorious indeed.

But if your mind still feel defeated, then you need to continue to love Him. You need to be still again and wait yet some more by His word…reading His word…and talking to Him what bothers you.

But as soon as you feel the release, rejoice! REJOICE! Rejoice!