Finding Peace In God

More and more I am convinced that the greatest peace for me is drawing to the Lord and loving Him. Whatever answers I am looking for I will find in Him. Even as small as the answer for What should I make for dinner tonight? the Lord gives to me. (Actually, as I was just typing that last sentence, the Lord just answered my question. I just saw the pork chops left over we had when we went out for dinner the other night with a friend. I totally forgot about it. And so we are set. Peace again.) It's the greatest thing ever for me! The Lord! The God of all creation! The God of all things! Who knows and understands and sees all things! And who loves me above all! Can give me the answers to any questions I may have. Like, What am I supposed to do in this life? What is my purpose? And what I am supposed to do in preparation for that purpose? What? What? What?

All these questions that can send a person in high depression if they don't have the answers. I have found I can have by coming to Him.

And the answer? This is what He gives me: Just love me. I will take care of it. I am your purpose. Love me and I will make all your dreams come true.

I read blogs, listen to inspirational podcasts, and they are all good and amazing; but after awhile I've found myself depressed. How do you keep up with all the lists they give you on what you're supposed to do to prepare for your calling; for your dream? At one point I felt like a total loser - an outcast of society - a lazy bum - someone who will never amount to anything - hence, a failure. Because I found myself totally inadequate and limited to the dream I have in my heart.

Then I remembered the Lord and talked to Him and cried to Him. How can I do all this? How can I prepare for what You have for me to do? And then He said an amazing thing to me: Just love me. I'll take care of it for you.

God is not only the one that gives us the dream, He's also the one that prepares us for it, brings us to it, and finally brings the dream to reality for us. When our lives are totally committed to Him, there's nothing we need to worry about, but just loving Him and drawing to Him. He said in His word:

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing." {John 15:4-5}

I have a file of songs in my laptop ready to go when the time comes. But the Lord was the one who told me to file them in one place: Type the lyrics down and record the mp3 files - in one place. I used to have them scattered in different notebooks, in different computers, in binders, in this tape player, in this voice recorder, or in little notes here and there. Now, whenever I have a new song written He's the one that tells me, "File it." Sometimes I get lazy and file them the next day or so. Last week after a song, He told me, "File it." And I started to say, "Tomorrow." He said, "File it." meaning "Now." And I had no excuse. I had allocated an hour for writing a song and still had half hour left. So I did. And in ten minutes I have a song added to my log of songs. I have now almost three hundred songs filed. If the Lord hadn't told me to file them all in one place and to keep filing them as I write them, I don't know where they would all be today or even if I'd know how much songs I've written already.

And the truth is, if the dream you have in your heart is from the Lord, you don't attain it, He gives it to you. And the reason why He's going to help you prepare for it (and actually sometimes you will not even be aware of it), is because it's His dream also. He wants it to come to pass as much as you do. So what do you have left to do? Just love Him. That's it. Continue to abide in Him in His word, talk to Him, and praise and thank Him everyday. It's that easy!

I've heard of people who prepared for their dreams and when they were ready the Lord brought the next step for them - whether a publisher for their book or a recording contract for their songs. Some people will say, It's all their hard work that had gotten them where they are. It had nothing to do with God. Maybe so. And if God isn't in your life and equation, maybe it is all your handwork; for after all Proverbs states, In all labor there is profit. But I know some who actually believe that they were being led to prepare for it. They didn't think it was just their own. Some say they didn't even know they were being prepared until the day the opportunity came. They believe it was divine leading.

Well for me, I'd like to think for myself, it is God. More and more, the closer I come to Him, the clearer it is to me, that He is the one drawing me to where He wants me to be. And He is showing me, that He's the one that does all things. Daniel said:

"…The most High ruleth in the kingdom of men and giveth it to whomsoever He will." {Daniel 4:32}

God is the one that changes the times and the seasons. He's the One that sets leaders and kings in their place and takes them away. He's the One that gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those that understand. {See Daniel 2:21} He does all things so that man cannot glory in himself. Whether man gives it to Him or not, it doesn't matter. In the end, God will get all the glory.

If my life is His and I've committed it to Him - what should I worry about? Since He does all things for me; there is nothing really, at all. He is showing me, that He wants me to live in peace today. He doesn't want me worrying about tomorrow. He said in His word:

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." {John 14:27}

Peace yesterday, peace today, peace tomorrow…Peace always.

And how does this happen? By daily abiding in Him - in His word, talking to Him, loving Him, and bringing myself to His presence always…bringing my thoughts to His word, to His voice, to His wonderful works He has done for me in time past and believing Him in what He's going to do for me today, as well for the future.

Peace always. He promised to never leave me, nor forsake me. He does all things. And does it well. Amen.

Help Us Believe

"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die. Believest thou this?" {John 11:25-26}

Beautiful, beautiful words! Of life! Right there! Thank you, Jesus, I love Him so much! He's so real to me!

So, the Lord asked Martha, if she believes He is the resurrection and the life - that though Lazarus was dead yet he will live again. And Martha says,

"Yea, Lord: I believe that Thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world." {John 11:27}

And then yet, when put to practice, and the Lord says, Take the stone out of the tomb, Martha panics.

Why do we do this? We are so like Martha. The Lord tells us His word and we nod our heads in agreement - Yes - we believe it! Without a doubt! Then as soon as trials come, we're like, Wait a minute Lord, wait, where are you? The Lord said, He'll not leave us nor forsake us and we agree, we believe it. But the minute trials come, we're panicking.

"Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto Him, Lord by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days. 

"Jesus said unto her, Said I not unto thee that if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?"

{John 11:39-40}

Man, I'm telling you, that just cringed me. I wonder how Martha felt about that! I probably would've wished I bit my tongue!

But then I think, How often have I said to the Lord, "Yes, Lord, Okay…I got You…Okay…" And then the next scene, I'm panicking.

Like one night, after a snow storm had come in and my husband is out there shoveling by the end of our driveway by the mailbox, and the road is pretty busy with commuters; so I started to worry about him. And so I kept praying, "Please Lord, protect him." And each time I would get, "He's fine." But then after watching for him and not seeing him by the mailbox shoveling I start to panic. Before you know it, I'm putting on my boots and my coat on. Then the Lord's voice, "Do I not know how to take care of him?" just as I was about to go towards the door. I stopped and I was like, "Okay Lord…." But then I was really curious to see where he was. So I was like, "I would just like to go and see where he is." So I opened the door to the garage and there was my  husband shoveling outside the garage door, finishing up. He was done at the mailbox.

Ugh. Talk about embarrassing. Thank the Lord He's so gracious and merciful! I tell you though, it's so good to hear His voice of assurances; but I surely need to believe Him more. I sometimes judge Martha for not believing the Lord about Lazarus - but here I am doing the very same thing!

Oh, Father, help me to believe in You more; that You are ever with me; and will never leave me nor forsake me. Amen.

When Forgiving Is Not Easy

I don't know about you, but I find that forgiving people takes God in my life. I need His help in order for me to forgive. I don't know what I'd do without Him if I didn't have Him in my life. As it is, it takes me a couple of days to recover from someone who has done something that hurt me. I don't know, maybe I'm just extra sensitive or I still yet to understand the American culture. Or sometimes I think I overanalyze things and the person's motive; which again I think is because of the cultural differences.


I came to America when I was thirteen years old and it took me a long time to get used to people being "sarcastic" or "witty" and being married many years later to learn from my own husband how to be sarcastic or "witty" myself. (Thank God he has such a good heart that he never uses sarcasm to hurt me.) But he can be very "witty" and "funny" and I've picked it up along the way. We've have had many a laughs because of it. Which I've also found out for the most part is "not convenient" at all, as apostle Paul would describe it. There are things that are "lawful" but they are most certainly "not convenient". And sarcasm is one of them. Put it the way you want to put it, even to the expense of having people laugh, but at the end of the day if someone is hurt, you're not doing what is "convenient". It might be lawful, but definitely not convenient. And definitely, not Christ-like.


So that's what I struggle with. My husband tells me all the time, "Stop analyzing the motive behind it; you're never going to fully know it."


Times like these, I just do the next best thing I know - turn to Christ: the author and the finisher of my faith. Whether I know the person intentionally hurt me or not, but I hurt nevertheless, I know for myself I cannot retaliate. Let God do that part; but for my part, let His love shines through.


Is it easy? Of course not. That's why I turn to Him because for myself I'd have burned the bridge(s) long time ago - and have done it too without hesitation - and know, will do it again - but with Him, I can find His wisdom, His comfort, and the courage and strength to deal with the same person who took offense in me and hurt me back. With Him, I can forgive and forget, the pain and the sin done against me.


Whenever I struggle in letting go of the hurt and the endless diatribe I go through in my head trying to analyze what I've done wrong to cause the person to say or do what they said and done to me; or to justify myself that I didn't do anything wrong; or the wish that they would disappear from my life; I just go and talk to the Lord about it. And most of the time He tells me, of course, to Forgive - and then He tells me to "Let it go…Move on…" He reminds me of what apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14:


"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Forgetting is so key in forgiving. Otherwise you have not fully forgiven. I've found you can "forget" and "let it go" when you have the Lord helping you. You might not "forget" as in having an amnesia about it, but you can move on, and forget it. You don't need to harp on it and reanalyze your motive and their motives and what you said and what she said. It will be an un-ending cycle. Whether they're the ones that did us wrong or we're embarrassed about what we said or done - move on! 

Forgive, forget, and move on!

I am also trying to accept, which you would think at this age I would have accepted already, what Jesus had said to His disciples:


"Woe unto the world because of offenses! For it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!" {Matthew 18:17}




Basically saying, Woe unto the world because there are offenses that come…Because they do come… And that's the thing I have to accept that offenses will come whether I like it or not. It is part of the world I live in. I get offended because they did or said something unkind or others will get offended at me because I did the same thing. Whether I meant it or not to be unkind, doesn't matter; they took it wrong. As I took it wrong. I think actually a lot of offenses come because people take things wrong. Whether because we didn't understand where the person is coming from or we're a product of our upbringing; it doesn't matter. Offenses will come.




So, what do you do?




Take it to the Lord. Talk to Him about it. There is nothing we can hide from Him so we might as well talk to Him and tell Him exactly how we feel about it. The more we practice taking things to Him - by talking to Him - the easier it will get. I've learned to fume and rant to God about my offenses and tell God how angry I am. It helps me calm down. I've actually found Him counseling me as I rant and rave to Him. And when I've calmed down I've learned to ask Him too to show me what I did wrong and asked Him to help me accept it if it was me that was wrong. That is often my issue in this life. I hate being wrong. It's hard to swallow one's pride and say, "Gulp, I guess, it is really me that made a mistake; not the other way around." 




It's not easy. You can "block" God to keep Him away from showing you the truth, or you could be brave about it. It's not always easy to be brave. But I've surprisingly enough found on few occasion when I do, and say, "Please give me courage to see truth - what did I do wrong?"; He has a few times shown me, "You didn't do anything wrong." From there I can breathe a sigh of relief. If I had not asked I could also deceive myself to think I've done something wrong when I have not.




He knows all things; and He knows how to comfort us. And when He has comforted us we could ask for His grace and forgiveness upon our own foolishness and for the sin of the other person. I do ask for their forgiveness from the Lord - to forgive them too - as I forgive them. I want the Lord to forgive them; as He had said to God when He hanged on the cross and as Stephen did when he was unjustly being stoned to death. And that doesn't come naturally. That only comes after the Lord has showered me with His love and His truth. Because I want the same thing done to me. I also ask for more of His Holy Spirit upon my life and in their lives. The more we both have the Lord, the better it is for both of us. Our relationship hopefully will become better because we have more of Him and less of ourselves.