Give Me The Voice of God

Shall the flocks and the herds be slain for them, to suffice them? Or shall all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, to suffice them?

And the LORD said unto Moses, Is the LORD's hand waxed short? Thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not.

(Numbers 11:22-23)

I love the relationship that Moses had with God. I love how the fact that God called Moses and chose him to be His messenger and deliverer for the children of Israel. The quality that Moses had which a lot of us seems to come short is being very humble. Abraham had faith, Job had long-suffering, and king David was an ever lover of God. And yet out of all these relationships I love Moses' the most. God was the one who took him and Moses wanted nothing to do with it. God had to give in to him to give him Aaron because Moses insisted he's not eloquent in speech and can’t talk to Pharaoh.

Every step of the way God had to keep assuring Moses that He's with him. God had to show him through the rod turning into a serpent and back again into a rod and his hand turning into a leper and then back again into normal. Every step of the way Moses was calling on God for direction. And here we see him again with the people asking for flesh and Moses wondered, how in the world is this going to happen? You’re going to feed them flesh? The fish and the flock aren’t enough for them. There are about six hundred thousand men alone. Moses couldn’t conceive of it. I guess Moses didn't know how big and awesome the God he was dealing with yet. He can feed people too, not just bring plagues. Moses is new to these things with God. So much so God was telling him, “Do you think my hand is small that I can’t feed them? You will see.”

Don’t you just love that? I mean God didn’t zap Moses for not believing.  For even daring to wonder how it’s going to happen. I feel like many of us would’ve condemned a Christian already for even questioning God’s ability. Well, many times I'm like Moses...I need constant assurance. I wonder how it’s going to happen. I want to see. Oh, I know God is able. I know He can do anything. But will He really coz I haven’t seen it before. I want Him to show me. Show me. Like Moses, I am wondering “How?” And I’m not letting Him be until He tells me. Even if like He said to Moses, "You'll see" and nothing more, that's enough for me. 

Job believed God even before he saw Him and talked to Him. Job said, “Though this worm eat my flesh yet I shall see God.” Talk about faith. And Abraham just obeyed God. No questions asked he went up to the mountain top and offered Isaac. He didn’t have a conversation with God about, “But you said I will have children as much as the stars in the sky, how is that going to happen now if I offer Isaac to you?” as I would’ve done.

I need constant assurance. I know God. I see God. But I need His voice. I need to hear His voice and let me know what’s going on. He can rebuke me, He can tell me I have no faith, He can tell me I don’t believe Him enough…that’s fine…but at the end of the day, I want to hear His voice. I want to hear Him say, “It’s going to be okay. Nothing’s going to go wrong. I will take care of you.” I want to hear it for myself. I don’t want to just accept it and see His word in the Bible and say, “He said therefore I believe it.” That’s good and all but I want to have the assurance that He was the one speaking to me. I don’t want to just randomly believe it. What if He didn’t really say it to me? How do I know He’s saying it to me just because it’s written in the Bible? I want to hear His voice like Moses did. Moses heard God’s voice telling him He’s going to feed the people flesh and assured Moses about it. That’s what I want. I want to hear His voice.

That’s why spending time with God in prayer and fasting is crucial to me. I don’t have as much faith as others do. I can’t just take the Bible’s word for it as others do. Sure. I have done that too. But no, I want more.  I want so much more. I want God to speak to me. I want to hear His voice. And many times when I speak to Him and listen with all my heart and hear my soul reach out to Him I can hear Him. It is the greatest thing I've ever or will ever experience. To hear the voice of God. And when I do I can live again.