Being Converted

6:01pm
January 22, 2012
Sunday
Little York

Being converted is NOT as easy as other people would have you believe. So many go around preaching that all you have to do is believe, raise your hand, mouth a few prayers, get in the water, and ta-da! You're converted!

I believe it's a lifelong process. Back when I was 12 years old I was baptized in water by the precious name of Jesus. Some would say I was converted. I believed. I was sold out. I laugh about it now. I was not converted at all. As a matter of fact, I did not want my dad to baptize me then. I told him, "I don't need to be baptized. I am NOT a sinner!" I verily believed that baptism only applied to sinners. And I was a child and grew up in church, how can I possibly be in need of baptism? I could even profess I was converted already, why try to convert me still?

When Jesus Christ told apostle Peter to strengthen his brethren after he was converted, what did He mean by that? Peter? Converted? Ha! Peter followed him for three years and I'm sure was even baptized! Peter, needs to be converted? I guess he did. Because even after Jesus rose from the dead, He was still there trying to convince Peter to follow Him. He asked Peter three times, "Peter, do you love me?"

I don't know exactly what to call this process, of God showing me that He loves me, desiring for me to believe with all of my heart that He loves me. And I believe that when I finally with all of my heart believe that He does that I can and WILL do anything for Him. And I believe that this is what is like to be truly converted. When I'm finally bold and unafraid of His love for me and will come out of my selfishness and give of myself to others, I believe that's when I can finally say, I am truly converted. Until then...I guess you can say, I'm still trying to be converted.

Run To You

January 5, 2012
Thursday
Little York

O Israel, return unto the LORD thy God; for thou has fallen by thine iniquity.

Take with you words and turn to the LORD: say unto Him, Take away all iniquity, and receive us graciously: so will we render the calves of our lips.

Asshur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our gods: for in Thee the fatherless findeth mercy.

I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for  mine anger is turned away from him.

Hosea 14:1-4

Lord, there is nothing, nothing, that you want us to withhold from you. If we hide something from you, like a sin that brings us down, how can you ever help us? Unless we commit everything to you, how can you ever deal with us? How can we ever know your voice of counsel if we only bring some stuff to you and the rest that we're embarrassed about we hide from you?

Lord, I know, you want me very much to learn to give ALL everything to you. Give ALL! And look to you for everything.

When am I ever going to learn that you're long suffering, full of compassion and slow to anger? When I sin...When I feel horrible inside...And I know for sure or rather, I feel for sure that you've turned against me and do not want me anymore that the very thing you want me to do is RUN to you. As soon as I foul up, RUN to you and say, "Lord I messed up again...I feel terrible..." And don't jump the gun of condemning myself. Isn't this what you wanted for Israel to do? To run to you and repent and confess their sins to you and say I messed up? So many times you were ready to forgive them despite of the many times they've rebelled from your instructions and desires; yet still you send your prophets to tell them, "Repent! Turn around! Return to God! And He will pardon...He will not bring the Syrians or the Egyptians or the Babylonians against you, if you just turn around!"

And now, I think the same message is still true today. We should just bring our baggages to you and say, "Here it is, Lord! Take it. I'm sick of doing this. I just don't know how to save myself from sin so please help me...and give me a heart that will turn towards your laws and your word rather turn to these sins that make me feel lousy and horrible."

Lord, I just have to tell myself this everyday, that you want me to come to you, no matter how horrible I feel about myself. Especially when I feel horrible and believing that you don't love me anymore; the more I should come. I should not be discouraged about your love. My coming to you is the only way you can help me. If I run away I just make things worse. So please Lord Jesus, help me to run to you. I pray, in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Sunday Morning Reflection

4/17/2011 9:29 AM

48°F

Little York Pattenburg Rd

I believe God cares very much for man. We grew up being taught that if we do wrong God comes against us. And so we live with a constant struggle to come to Him. We live with a constant consciousness that we’re not pleasing before Him therefore cannot behold Him. And yet on the other hand, God has died for our sins, made a way at the cross for our reproaches so that we may freely come to Him. The Bible said our reproaches were put upon Him and by His stripes we are healed.

I believe we need to overcome our insecurities about how God must feel about us. I believe churches have done more damage to us than God had ever intended. Churches have pounded us to come back to God but has never given us the confidence, the assurances, that we are loved. Until our spiritual leaders show us that love and forgiveness really do exist, how can we, the sinners and the saints of God, ever can believe that God loves us too and forgives us?

Unfortunately too many saints themselves feel that they can penance themselves to their salvation. Many saints can make themselves look good, even believe a lie that they are good, so that they can continue to go to church and make themselves look good and show others that God must love them. But to an honest, searching heart, this is not enough. To look good, to attend church religiously, and to keep yourself from obvious “sins” aren’t enough. To me, God is always watching. He knows more what others know of my heart, my thoughts and my desires. And what good is my goodness going to prove to Him? My righteousness is but a filthy rag before God’s eyes.

But preachers and saints alike love to condemn people in the pulpit. There are just so many saints out there who go to church that cannot love other people. They just can’t. They have these religious ideas that if you don’t approve with their beliefs God cannot possibly approve of you and so they mustn’t either!

All my life I’ve been taught to love God but disapprove of those who do not love Him. Especially those who do not approve of what I believe in.

But now, I have deviated from the reality of the God I was taught to believe. Now, I believe God wants a relationship. If a church brings it, good. If it doesn’t, woe to those who have offended the seeker. God wants us all to come to Him. If an establishment or a saint have caused that you or I ran away from God, then woe to that establishment or to that saint. They haven’t done His will.

I believe, anywhere, anytime, you and I can reach out to our heavenly Father and find forgiveness and acceptance. I believe He is and the heavenly host above us understand the struggle we go through of our desires to please God and to do His will. More than anything in this life, His desire is for us to talk to Him with the full assurance that He loves us and accepts us. And whatever we’ve done He will forgive and forget. And whatever we do again, He is willing to again and again forgive and forget. He is not about, “Do this…and do that…or else”.

God is more than a wonderful friend. Think of any wonderful friend you can come up with and you can go ahead and freely imagine God to be that person and more. So much more to you.

Imagine a friend who never reproaches you but you can be so brutally honest with and he the same with you and yet love you still so very much. That is God. He will never reproach you. He will never put you down. He will never demean or make you ever feel inferior. He is a good friend, not a bad friend.

But churches would have us think God is the most awful friend around. Who wants Him?

I hate those churches who makes me feel horrible about myself with God. God is not into making us feel horrible. God is into making us feel wanting Him more, wanting more to be like Him and loving others more. If a church doesn’t inspire you to do these, leave that church!

Wouldn’t it be ironic if half of the church going people today and in the past history end up in hell because of their self righteousness? Unless we repent, we shall all likewise perish. The problem is, a saint of God can be so long in the church that he can make himself believe he doesn’t need to do anything more. He doesn’t need to repent after he’s scorn a sinner away or in his heart said, “Humph, these young people these days are filthy, unclean and have no hope.” And in his heart verily believe they should go to hell. Or a saintly woman of God conjured in her heart to condemn a visitor who in her heart is seeking for acceptance to God. This well meaning saint of God judges the visitor, looks at her up and down, and says in her heart, “Humph, she sure won’t be my friend if she sticks around here. I don’t want to be ever get contaminated by her!” And then these two wonderful saints of God, who love their brethren in the Lord (in the open) never for once in their church going lifetime repents and asks the Lord for forgiveness for condemning or judging or scorning another human being, whom God loves and died for, simply because they don’t look or act or talk as they expect them to act, talk or look. So have mercy upon us all. So help me God and in my heart cleanse myself from all these self-righteousness and find forgiveness and grace in You.

I believe we are the church. Our body is the temple of the Living God. Where we are, we can find God. In our hearts, in our minds, and in our souls. All we need to do is to reach out to Him and to communicate with Him, using our hearts, our minds and our souls.

God knows how to reveal Himself to us. He doesn’t need a church building to reach out to people. He doesn’t need you to go to church so that a screaming preacher can tirade you out of your faith and make you become insecure of the love God has for you. (And I don’t understand why preachers scream anyway. The Bible said Jesus TAUGHT. Seems to me Jesus only used loud, angry voice to the Pharisees and Sadducees. These screaming preachers – they have no understanding at all about entreating a sheep, talking to a lamb, leading them to God. They like to scare the wits out of us all.) God can send someone to you, if need be, to help you and encourage you to walk with Him and trust in Him. And you yourself can hear the voice of God. He can tell you, walk here, walk there. You can hear His voice from within, behind you, in front of You. He is a constant companion in your heart, your mind – your thoughts, and in your soul. God can fill you within and without, you just need to ask Him to do so. The Bible said no one has to tell you to know God. God can show You Himself how to know Him if you with all your heart and soul seek after Him.

I see God always hovering above us and the host of angels and spirits up above us, witnessing the daily struggle we go through. He knows who has a desire for God. He knows when you messed up, when you’ve hidden yourself from Him because of your shame, and He knows when you’re reaching out to Him again in your heart. When you go in and out of your house He knows you, He sees you. When you lie down at night, He knows when your heart is aching and is reaching out to Him. Don’t ever get discouraged and believe He doesn’t know you or that He is far away or that He doesn’t care. God can never get tired as other earthly friends you have do. God is always there and remember is better than any best friend you can ever meet in this life. That is God. A friend that loves you through and through and so much deep within and who desires a constant communion with you.

Remember what saint John said, “God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”